A Bird Flew In My Window, Sh*t On My Laptop, And Decided To Die Right In Front Of Me. How’s Your Day Going? source About To Arrive For An Interview In A New Suit, Realise They Left The Tag On…. source Wife Asked Me To Check If The Chickens Laid Any Eggs. I’m Gonna Say No source Apparently,

So The Person Driving In Front Of Me On The Highway Today Didn’t Close His Toolbox All The Way source My Cousin’s Legs After A Day In The Sun In Ripped Jeans source Got A Sandwich Stuck In Vending Machine. Bought A Drink To Push The Sandwich. Damn source Watched A French Swat Team And This